Fighting
by ItStHeCaRiBbEaN
Summary: Peeta's thoughts while he is hiding in the mud and unable to help Katniss.


**Here's my first fanfiction written for The Hunger Games! It's been a while since I've written anything, but I hope you like it =) **

As I lay here in my deathbed, I can't help but feel like giving up. The Capitol is being merciful, having not killed me off already with some man-made "natural" disaster. My thoughts drift to Katniss. Katniss, the girl on fire – the girl who stole my heart.

It pains me to know that I am powerless to fight and help her in this game. Ha. Help her? I laugh to myself. Katniss doesn't need my help; she's too strong for that.

I remember when her father passed away. I had just turned twelve at the time, but I could never forget anything that had to do with Katniss. I remember the turmoil the death brought to her family. Word went around that Mrs. Everdeen no longer helped with patients. She no longer cared. Mrs. Everdeen's drawback hurt both herself and her children.

I remember Katniss's indifferent face at school during those times. The teachers gave their condolences and sympathies, but she never wanted to acknowledge them, maybe fearing she would not know how to recover. As weeks went on, I noticed how gaunt her features were, but Katniss continued to fight. I never heard her complain or beg others for help. I wished to talk to her then, to say something, anything that would have helped. I could never do it.

It was not until I saw her outside of my family's bakery, did I ever see her look so vulnerable, so helpless there kneeling in the mud.

It was the time I finally got her attention – or at least, the bread did. I remember the look on her face when she picked up the loaves of burnt bread, the disbelief in her eyes, and the manner in which she clutched the bread as if clinging to her own life. When I saw her the next day, eyes suddenly alive and filled with determination, I knew Katniss would be okay.

But now, I don't know if Katniss will be okay. Lying here right now in the mud, I am overcome with despair. My mind is losing focus and my thoughts go off tangent. Somehow, I conclude that deep inside, I know Katniss will never love me.

How can she, when she has been through so much? To her, I must live in a completely different world than her. Unlike _Gale._ Gale, who is strong and appealing to all the girls in District 12. Of course, Katniss cannot help but fall for him too.

Wallowing in my own sorrow, I barely hear Claudius Templesmith's voice through the sky. "… two victors from one district!" I manage to hear him say. How clever of the Capitol to bend the rules at their command, changing the game completely. My thoughts redirect to Katniss.

All I think now is how dangerous it will be for her. Cato and Clove are even more of a threat now that they are teamed up, not having to worry about killing each other. If only I was near Katniss so the numbers would be even.

I laugh to myself again. Who knows if Katniss will even want me with her. I remember the look in her eyes when she directed her bow and arrow at me. Shock and betrayal.

Even if she did find me. What good would I be? I feel the stabbing pain of the gash in my leg. I feel dizzy from the loss of blood and the throbbing from where the tracker jackers stung.

I guess it is better to just die here now and take the burden off Katniss.

Now I lay here in the mud, I close my eyes and feel myself drifting away slowly, allowing it to happen. I then hear a sweet melody from a bird- no, mockingjay. The tune is so beautiful and reminds me of the day I first heard Katniss's voice. The tune is sorrowful and yet with the beat from the mockingjay, it fills the air with hope. A sudden jolt runs through my veins and I open my eyes. I realize what I have to do.

I cannot give up now, I will fight. I _need_ to fight. Not for me, but for _her._ For Katniss's survival.

I will do anything I can to help with my injured self, even if she needs to use me as a distraction or cut me into pieces to use as weapons. I know I am not thinking straight now , but I have to keep fighting until she finds me.

**Thanks for reading. Any comments/reviews are welcome! **


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